Thursday, August 14, 2014

[Staglevision] mediterranean summer

Dear friends and readers,

Just returned home from my seven-week jaunt through Europe! I was in Lisbon for three weeks TA-ing for the incredible writer Alissa Nutting at the DISQUIET International Literary Program. Since I hadn't visited Europe since 2006 (and since the UMass Grad School gave me a very generous travel grant) I decided to visit a few more countries that I missed in college: France, Morocco, and Spain. After DISQUIET, I spent a few days in Paris with my MFA pals Chris and Colleen, but after that, I was traveling solo for the very first time. 

Each morning, I set out with my trusty camera, my Stanford in Entertainment tote bag, UMass water bottle, itinerary, and book. You learn a great deal about the people you travel with; I learned a lot about myself. I became more self-reliant and assertive, better able to navigate foreign cities, better able to approach people I didn't know. At the same time, I was overwhelmed by the kindness and hospitality of the locals, who often bridged the language barrier by speaking in English or by being patient with my garbled bits of Portuguese or French or Maghrebi, heavily aided by gesture. (I was able to trot out my Spanish, though it was easier for me to rehearse and deliver a sentence or two than to understand what was being said to me.) The books I read gave me a dual consciousness as I traveled. Jacinto Lucas Pires' novel The True Actor led me through Lisbon, Hemingway's memoir A Moveable Feast guided me through Paris, and Paul Bowles' autobiography Without Stopping saw me through Morocco and Spain.

Perhaps the best part of traveling alone was the new and unexpected friends I made: Gio Ken, who welcomed me to Lisbon; Karen Hayes and Sarah Reading, two Australians who jumped the fence at Père Lachaise to kiss Morrison's grave; Anne-Flore Rives and her friends, who absorbed me into their table in Paris, toasting "All You Need Is Love;" Amy Harris, my Paris Opera ticket line buddy; Iffy Tillieu and Lee Bo Young, who helped me acclimate during my first day in Marrakech; Pat and Mike Kelly, a dynamic couple from Puerto Vallarta that I met at the hammam; the Chefchaouen crew: charismatic Mehdi Lazrak, Veronica Orlich, Tom and Kim and their dancing daughters Lola and Ruby; John Davison, who opened TALIM to me in Tangier; Solomon Pastor, a footballer from London playing for CD Ronda; and Damien Compain, my host in Barcelona. As luck would have it, I ran into some familiar faces along the way, too! Stephen Ocho Deaderick and I gobbled the famed pastéis de nata in Belem while his Semester at Sea ship was docked in Lisbon, and I bumped into my high school classmate Jeff Kao at La Sagrada Família!

Top 10 Experiences:
1. Sharing the second draft of my story "Night Visits" with a room of talented and generous writers at DISQUIET.
2. Scoring free, front-row tickets to Puccini's La Boheme at the Paris Opera on Bastille Day.
3. Rekindling my love of Ancient Egypt in the palatial rooms of the Louvre, then finding original versions of the Cupid and Psyche paintings I'd been researching on Wikipedia.
4. Escaping the heat and bustle of Paris to sit in awe of Monet's Water Lilies in the naturally lit oval rooms at Musée de l'Orangerie.
5. Treating myself to a luxurious hammam & traditional body scrub with black soap and kessa glove & ghassoul body mask, followed by a relaxing body massage, pool, Moroccan mint tea and cookies!
6. Tiring out my guide while leather jacket shopping in the Fes medina.
7. Impressing the men of Chefchaouen when invited to put down my camera and do pull ups with them at the Ras el Maa waterfall.
8. Climbing up a cliff in Tangier to get to Cafe Hafa, where Paul Bowles and Mohamed Mrabet first met.
9. Receiving a private tour of the Tangier American Legation Institute for Moroccan Studies (and the Paul Bowles Wing!) from Director John Davison during the Islamic Fête du Thrône holiday.
10. Stumbling upon the dark dreamscapes of animators and puppeteers Starewitch, Švankmajer, and the Quay Brothers at the Centre de Cultura Contemporània de Barcelona exhibit Metamorphosis.

Photo Albums:

 






Love,
Steven

P.S. The April launch party for my photography book, Outside Windows, was a huge success! I couldn't have asked for a better way to ring in my 29th birthday. You can still order hardcover and EPUB copies of Outside Windows on Square Market. I have about ten copies of the handsome hardcover edition left, and I'd like to find good homes for them.





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Friday, April 11, 2014

[Staglevision] outside windows, my first book

Dear friends and readers,

It's been quite a while since I last wrote, and so much has happened. After traveling through Asia (Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Philippines, Taiwan, Japan) last summer with my food-loving friend Catherine Ho, I started in the MFA Program for Poets and Writers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, supported by a Paul and Daisy Soros Fellowship for New Americans.

I saw my first semester at UMass through the lens of a camera. Taking photos was how I acclimated to this strange, new place, how I got to know my friends and housemates, how I hoped to capture a piece of this experience forever. The result is Outside Windows, a book of 24 photographs that documents my first semester in the program. More than anything I can say, I think this book will give you a sense of my life here: its quiet and enchanting moments, its surprising intimacies, its abounding awe.

The book is available in a handsome hardcover edition printed on Mohawk ProPhoto Lustre-Finish White photographic paper and bound with ProLine charcoal linens, protected by a laminated gloss dust jacket. I'm printing a first run of 50 limited edition, signed copies with a bindery in Agawam, MA. The ebook edition is an EPUB file viewable in iBooks on Mac or iOS devices.

I'd love your help spreading the word about Outside Windows. Here's how you can get involved:
  • Purchase a hardcover or ebook edition of the book from Square Market. Orders placed before April 21 will help to finance the first printing. With gratitude, I'll ship your book for free (and in some cases, hand deliver!).
  • Share your thoughts about the book on iTunes, Amazon, or Goodreads. 
  • Attend the Outside Windows Book Launch Party on April 25, 8-10 p.m. at Flying Object in Hadley, MA.
  • Visit Route Nine, the UMass Amherst MFA Program journal, to read interviews with writers featured in the photos.
Thanks for all your love and support. I hope these photos give you the same sense of wonder I felt while taking them.

Love,
Steven

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Saturday, March 10, 2012

Waves

So much further to go to plumb the depths of emotion, of experience. I'm skating the surface of an ocean, describing the light that shimmers on the waves.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

[Staglevision] alumnus, pioneer

Dear friends and readers,

Last October, I flew up to Stanford to film an "It Gets Better" video for the LGBT alumni group, Stanford Pride. It was Reunion Weekend, and the group was hosting a reception to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Stanford's Gay People's Union (GPU). Founded in 1971, the GPU was one of the first LGBT campus organizations in America.

I spent the weekend interviewing twenty LGBT alumni. I interviewed Maud Nerman, founder of the GPU, who wrote articles about being a lesbian in the campus newspaper in the early 70s. I interviewed Zoe Dunning, who fought courageously against DADT. I interviewed Carly Smolak and Claire Lussier, who recently bought a house and got engaged.

Recorder of stories, listener, documentarian: this is the role I'm most comfortable in. It's rare to be given someone's confidence like this, and I felt a tremendous respect for these early pioneers. They made progress with their courage. Their Stanford was not the Stanford they left behind. Opinions shifted because of their efforts. They made things better.

Stanford Pride: It Gets Better
http://vimeo.com/steventagle/itgetsbetter

Browse all 5 Stanford Pride videos
http://vimeo.com/album/1839967

Now that this project is finished, I've returned to work on my novel. The first few days were tough. Every time I sat down to write, I felt like I was hitting my head against the rubber surface of it, my words flying back in my face. But now I feel like I'm chipping away at it, and at least some of the words I jot down stick to the page. I've been writing every day.

I'm enjoying life at home, spending time with my parents and teachers, and making my own schedule.
Here are some photos of my Room/Library/Workspace
https://plus.google.com/photos/101290050225516519994/albums/5695026967304290753?authkey=COaxrtn7zKL2wgE

Till soon,
Steven

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Monday, December 12, 2011

[Staglevision] thank you, LA

Dear friends and readers,

It's official. In two weeks, I'm leaving my job, leaving my apartment, leaving LA...to move home and finally finish my novel. Living in LA has nurtured me creatively and helped me develop my voice to a point where I feel confident that I can write the book I set out to write. I'm excited for what next year will bring as I finish this draft, begin the submission process, and apply to fiction MFA programs.

Thank you all for encouraging me to follow my dreams, for challenging me, and for helping me grow as a writer and a human being.

And for those of you in LA, how about one more round of Sprites and ammo this Saturday, December 17 at the Arsenal?
Drinks @ The Arsenal
Saturday, December 17 at 8:00pm
The Arsenal
12012 W. Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90064
https://www.facebook.com/events/131667866945971

Hope to see you there,
Steven

P.S. A friend's house recently caught on fire. Then something miraculous happened.
Here's the video: http://vimeo.com/steventagle/koran

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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Ladder 6 - A SpiritClips Original Film

For the 10th anniversary of 9/11, we've created this original motion comic film, Ladder 6, free to watch and share at spiritclips.com. The true story of a group of FDNY firefighters from Ladder 6 company, who miraculously survived the World Trade Center collapse because they stopped to help Josephine Harris, an elderly woman who was trapped on the staircase on September 11, 2001.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

[Staglevision] living in the tin house

Dear friends and readers,

It's been a week since I returned from the Tin House Summer Writer's Workshop, but sometimes I still catch myself wondering what afternoon lectures I'll be attending, what sugared treats await me on the dining hall dessert cart, what creative cuss words Dorothy Allison will scream out next.

Call it denial, but it feels more like a high that refuses to fade. That week in Portland, Oregon was a pure delight. Once my "ride friends" and I arrived at Reed College, it was easy to forget everything else. The green, wooded campus was a self-contained world. It was just us and the middle school math campers in their multicolored sarongs.

Our daily schedules were packed with events: morning lectures, two-hour workshops, afternoon panel discussions, agent and editor meetings (daunting at first, but surprise! they're human). Then, in the evening, we'd gather in Reed's outdoor amphitheater on the creek for cocktails and faculty readings (occasionally interrupted by intrepid joggers, and once, a saucer-eyed kid on X).

One night, a group of us explored downtown Portland. Another night, we held a guerrilla reading in our dorm's third-floor common room. At the end of the week, there was a dance party that lasted from 9pm until the airport shuttle picked us up at 4am...

My novel workshop with Jonathan Dee contained writers of diverse ages, backgrounds, and nationalities. I developed a reputation as a constant snacker, my messenger bag overflowing with napkin-wrapped baked goods. It was really productive to be in a group where everyone was working on a novel. We struggled with similar questions: Should you frame narratives set in the past? How much does a reader need to be 'grabbed' or 'hooked' on page one? What is the balance between lyricism and abstraction?

I workshopped 25 pages of my novel, beginning with the scene where Sy shapeshifts for the first time. The feedback I received was really encouraging and constructive; it not only resolved some of the stylistic doubts I had while writing those pages, but also explained why I'm having difficulty with the scene I'm currently writing. Ben's failure to react to Sy's initial transformation is, I think, what has made it so difficult to write the scene where they confront each other the next day. I've been writing backwards, trying to figure out exactly what Ben saw/heard/felt the night before.

I'm back in the real world now, fighting for time to write in a world that conspires to keep me from writing. At Jonathan's suggestion, I'm continuing my education by reading all the Paris Review interviews with famous writers from 1950 to the present. In one interview, Robert Stone said, "[Writing is] goddamn hard. Nobody really cares whether you do it or not. You have to make yourself do it." In that respect, Tin House was such a gift because everyone cared. Everyone understood how hard it was.

One important idea that our instructors reiterated throughout the week: good writing takes time. There are writers who have spent 10 to 20 years working on their novels. So take the time you need to get it right. Give yourself that permission, and don't beat yourself up about it. Don't rush the work. Agents and editors will still be interested one year, two years down the road.

I know I'll forget this later, so I wanted to say it here.

Till soon,
Steven

P.S. Here are some photos from the week!

https://picasaweb.google.com/steventagle/TinHouseWritersWorkshop?authuser=0&feat=directlink

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Friday, June 17, 2011

[Staglevision] simply teevs

Dear friends and readers,

There are many aspects of fashion that I detest: fashion as superficial culture (though I am superficial); fashion as a label parade (though I'm a certified brand whore); fashion without taste. I don't often spend money on new clothes. Unlike my sister, I prefer comfy over vogue and am content to wear socks and underwear until they unravel. Most weekends you'll find me in my coffee house grunge: gray t-shirt, glasses, hoodie, and jeans. I've been known--to Camille's horror--to still wear button-down shirts that I bought in the eighth grade.

What I do like about fashion is its craftsmanship. Fashion as history, fashion as art. Every few years the planets will realign, and an object will command my full, obsessive attention. To buy or not to buy? I'll hunt down the Platonic form of the object in question: memorizing model numbers and specs, befriending salespeople, clipping promo codes for the best possible deal. Family and friends will weigh in with exasperation as my decision making process spans weeks, months. They remember the infamous Kenneth Cole watch of 2005, the APC overcoat of 2008 (Jack!), and most recently, a pair of Persol eyeglasses and Aldo moccasins.

Persol Eyeglasses. PO2857V. 95 - 54 - 16 - 140. I imagine myself flashing this smart Persol frame (with Giuseppe Ratti's iconic, "warrior-inspired" metal arrows) at business meetings and nights at the opera. According to the Persol website, the black acetate is derived from pulverized cotton flowers, allowing the frame to maintain cotton's natural properties--allergy free and warm to the touch. Researching these glasses convinced me that I needed Trivex anti-reflective lenses rather than the standard polycarbonate. Trivex is lighter and has better optics; anti-reflective coating reduces computer glare. "They're an investment!" I told myself. "In my writing! And they really do make a difference.
Aldo Ballato Men's Moccasins. The Ballato's personality is in the details. With its hidden gray laces and metallic eyelets, it's summery yet subdued, a modern boating shoe. Its serious slate-gray canvas and leather exterior contrasts with its playful white and navy-blue checkered interior. Ballato means "danced, footed" in Italian, but when I first wore these shoes, they cut into my heels. That first week, I felt like the little mermaid, "stepping on piercing needles and sharp knives" whenever I set my foot down. My mom noticed immediately: "Why are you limping?" And Tyrrell, ever the bully, said, "Maybe they'll never fit." I endured the pain, washing bloody socks and hoping my foot would mold to the shoe. At last, Camille recommended a pair of heel liners that saved my life.

Perhaps that's the true power of fashion: every object signifies a story we wish to tell about ourselves. Fashion is how we choose to look, a reflection of our taste, not our genes. And sometimes that's worth the cost, worth the pain. To walk into a room reframed, to own something so sleek and well-designed it makes you reconsider yourself.

Till soon,
Steven

P.S. Next month I'm attending the Tin House Summer Writers Workshop, a weeklong intensive of workshops, seminars, panels, and readings led by the editors of Tin House and their guests - prominent contemporary American writers of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. I'll be workshopping the fourth chapter of my novel with Jonathan Dee, a Contributing Writer for New York Times Magazine and a former Senior Editor of the Paris Review. I can't wait!
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Thursday, May 5, 2011

[Staglevision] children pursued and possessed

Dear hearts,

For the past two months, I've been obsessed. In March, I saw the LA Opera production of Benjamin Britten's The Turn of the Screw. Based on the novella by Henry James, the opera is about a governess's struggle to protect her young charges from the carnal influence of two lingering ghosts.

Britten's chamber opera reminded me of another story of endangered children: The Night of the Hunter, directed by Charles Laughton, starring Robert Mitchum, Shelley Winters, and Lillian Gish. Mitchum, his knuckles tattooed with the words LOVE and HATE, plays a sinister preacher whose nefarious motives for marrying a fragile widow are uncovered by her terrified young children.
Both works are eerie and strange, seemingly out of place in the 1950s when they debuted. Their monsters are wolves in sheep's clothing: seductive, and therefore all the more potent. Peter Quint, the spectral valet who the opera implies was "free with everyone / with little master Miles," wears a suave black suit throughout the performance. His counterpart, Preacher Harry Powell, dressed in a distinctive black vest and hat, charms the unwitting faithful with his tale of Right Hand, Left Hand, of good and evil. These villains speak an adult language. They are artful, they can pass among the guardians of the innocent. In Turn of the Screw, even the children are drawn to the ghosts' evil; over the course of the opera, we see them less as victims than as ambiguous co-conspirators.

I want to discuss a scene from each production that really stuck me: Turn of the Screw's Act II, Scene 1/Variation 8: Colloquy and Soliloquy and the scene in Night of the Hunter where Preacher murders Willa Harper, the children's mother. Both scenes are set in the bedroom, a place of safety, the altar of our rest. In both scenes, this refuge is violated. Malevolence penetrates our innermost chamber, the sanctuary where our grown-up imaginations still run wild. Turn of the Screw's second act opens with the two ghosts poised over the children's beds. Quint and Miss Jessel speak of their dependence upon one another, and upon the children.

Quint and Miss Jessel:
Day by day the bars we break,
Break the love that laps them round,
Cheat the careful watching eyes,
'The ceremony of innocence is drowned.'
'The ceremony of innocence is drowned.'

The children cannot be protected. The wolves are already inside.
Light and shadow play a significant role in both works. Famous cinematographer Stanley Cortez shot Night of the Hunter on high-contrast Tri-X film to achieve deep blacks and pure whites. In the murder scene, Willa's a-frame bedroom looks like the nave of a church. She prepares for spiritual salvation, haloed in light, while her romantic waltz commingles with the preacher's dark chords. Preacher tilts his head, listening to the voice of his God. Then he descends on her with his knife, and now the children are truly alone.

What is the romance of so much dark? As a child, danger seems ever present. Creativity and imagination feed fear. Both Night of the Hunter and Turn of the Screw blur the lines of reality and imagination, unleashing the children's subjectivity onto the world. A subjectivity where Preacher's animal howl chases John and Pearl down the Ohio River, where Miles and Flora's governess begins to doubt her own sanity. Like a Grimm fairy tale, these stories tap our most primal fears. It's good versus evil, and innocence is at stake, innocence relentlessly hounded.

Bedroom Scene from Night of the Hunter:


Trailer for Turn of the Screw:


Till soon,
Steven

P.S. My media diet the past two months:

Performance: The Turn of the Screw conducted by James Conlon (William Burden as Quint)
CD: The Turn of the Screw conducted by Benjamin Britten (Peter Pears as Quint)
CD: The Turn of the Screw conducted by Steuart Bedford (Philip Langridge as Quint)
Book: The Turn of the Screw and Other Stories by Henry James
DVD: The Turn of the Screw BBC production (Mark Padmore as Quint)

DVD: The Night of the Hunter directed by Charles Laughton
DVD: Charles Laughton Directs "The Night of the Hunter" edited by Robert Gitt
Book: The Night of the Hunter by Davis Grubb
Book: The Night of the Hunter: A Biography of a Film by Jeffrey Couchman
Book: Heaven & Hell To Play With: The Filming of "The Night of the Hunter" by Preston Neal Jones

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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

[Staglevision] waking in banksy's la

Dear friends and readers,

In the weeks leading up to the Academy Awards, British graffiti artist Banksy swept through LA with a unique campaign to promote his Oscar-nominated documentary, Exit Through the Gift Shop. The day of the Oscars, Tyrrell and I embarked on a nine-hour odyssey to photograph ten new pieces of Banksy art. Our expedition took us from downtown to Malibu, through all different neighborhoods of LA.

1. Caution, Fun Sign #1: East Cesar E Chavez Avenue & Pleasant Ave
Parodying the signs warning drivers of immigrant families sprinting across the highway, Banksy's Caution, Fun depicts the sprinting family holding a kite. The two signs were strategically placed in neighborhoods with large Mexican populations.

We arrived not knowing where to look, what to expect. "Do you know where we can find the Banksy graffiti art?" Two garage mechanics told us it had been tagged and painted over the day before. "Yesterday there were a bunch of people here taking photos," they said. "Who is Banksy?" We'd missed the piece by one day. And so the clock started ticking.
2. Caution, Fun Sign #2: 2446 E 1st St and Soto
A Mexican guy with a lollipop and a bag of laundry slung over his shoulder showed us where the piece had been cut from the wall. "That landlord never fixes anything," he said, nodding to the adjacent building. "But when the guys on that Clint Eastwood pic told him it was valuable, he took it down right away. I bet he kept it. It's not even his building!"

"I bet they only steal them on the east side," I told Tyrrell.
"On the west side, they paint over them," Tyrrell said. "Who's smarter?"
3. Crayon Foreclosure: 1547 E Washington Blvd
Here's how to spot a Banksy: look for hipsters snapping pictures. Once you make it through the cluster of plaid shirts and skinny jeans, the reveal will take your breath away. This was our first Banksy, shielded in Plexiglass by some kind soul. "I'm working here on a shoot tomorrow," a woman said. "I can't believe it's right here."
4. Wall Art in Parking Lot: S Broadway & W 9th St
During our hunt, I found myself doing things I hadn't done in a long time. I climbed a tree downtown to photograph a Banksy piece on the roof of a building. I did it partly to impress Tyrrell, but also because the hunt renewed an exuberance and a sense of adventure I hadn't felt in a long time. Nestled in the tree, dirt streaking my jeans, I felt like anything could happen.
5. Valero Monkey: S La Brea Ave & Melrose
Tyrrell called me on the road. "I found one," she said. "I found a Banksy." While she posed before the wall imitating the monkey's hunch, a man walked by with his boy. "That's a piece by a very famous street artist," the man told his son.
6. Banksy Oscar Homage by Mr. Brainwash: S La Brea Ave & Dockweiler St
Even before we saw Mr. Brainwash's name scrawled in white paint beside the piece, we knew it wasn't a Banksy. The man would never place himself on an Oscar statuette. And what's with the Stormtroopers, anyway?
7. Charlie Brown Firestarter: Sunset and La Cienega
Goodbye, the board said. Goodbye, with kisses. The piece cut from the wall of the burned-out building featured Charlie Brown with a gas tank and a cigarette dangling from his mouth.  It reportedly sold on eBay for $8000.
8. Pissing Dog: Camp JEM, Beverly Hills
So many of the Banksy pieces had been stolen or defaced that we were anxious to see how Beverly Hills would respond to its Banksy. When we arrived at Camp JEM's parking lot, we found that a security guard had been posted on site. A security guard to protect a dog whose piss arced over the concrete wall.

"Who hired you?" I asked. "Was it the city? The landlord?"
"I don't know," he said. "I just got a call."

The guard gave the place an air of formality. Someone had hauled in a toilet with the words Photos Here. It was safe and touristy. It was Beverly Hills.
9. Crayon Shooter: Glendon Ave & Kinross Ave
In the alleyway behind Urban Outfitters, the Crayon Shooter had been defaced and then restored. Gray paint smeared the green wall like smog. UCLA students on the hunt asked us if we'd seen others. Veterans of the scene, we shared our pictures with them and told stories from our day around the city. We hammed it up in front of the camera.
10. Elephant Water Tower: Between Channel and Temescal
Dusk fell. We ran along Pacific Coast Highway, cars whizzing by at 80 miles per hour. Tyrrell, motherly, kept telling me to stay out of the street. Running through the brush with the sun setting behind me, I felt a rush of excitement. At any moment, the elephant would appear.
Banksy's canvases are stolen space, yet the beauty and renown of his work often increases the value of the properties he vandalizes. He entrusts his art to public spaces. They're left to us--unprotected, ultimately accessible--and what becomes of them is a reflection of our communities. The art Tyrrell and I encountered that day was stolen, tagged up, defaced, and painted over. It was photographed, guarded, discussed, and protected. The work provoked different reactions from different neighborhoods. Oftentimes, our access was limited by the owners of the surfaces Banksy altered, complicated by the fame of the artist himself. Banksy's art made the city a little less familiar. It renewed LA's magic and proved that there is still much to be discovered.

Our treasure map:
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=210725873926250323151.00049d46a3faaac19a9cf

Our full photo set:
https://picasaweb.google.com/steventagle/PhotoDoc09BanksyArtHunt#

Till soon,
Steven

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Sunday, February 27, 2011

[Staglevision] leak 2

Dear friends and readers,

Nothing in this exhibit room but a snare drum and a whirring fan.

"Is that leak supposed to be there?" a visitor asks.

Water leaks from the ceiling above the snare drum. Every few seconds, a drop forms and falls. The drop should hit the drum. You can almost hear the sound it would make. But an electric fan blows each drop off course, over the drum and onto the floor.

You can't see the drop diverted. I narrow my eyes, try not to blink. I watch each drop grow full, tremble as gravity pulls it down. A spotlight catches the drop as it falls towards the drum. I don't see it again until it splatters the concrete floor. A brown, oval stain has formed around the leak on the ceiling. A puddle gathers at the foot of the drum. Where water has evaporated, minerals in the water leave amorphous white rings. Stain on ceiling, stain on floor. The invisible leak makes itself visible.

Water droplets fall over and over. They can't help falling, can't help yielding to the whirring fan. The silent drum is seductive, tantalizing. If just one drop were to hit. One drop. It's possible, isn't it? The sound of water hitting the instrument as present as an echo in my head. Try to isolate another sound. Can you hear droplets smack the floor? Or is that sound imagined too? I want water to gush from the ceiling. I want to beat the snare drum with my hands.

The piece becomes an orchestration of failure, of mistakes we make again and again hoping for outcomes so nearly realized.

Fernando Ortega
Gotera 2 (Leak 2)
2008

A leak, directed toward a snare drum, is diverted by the air of a fan placed next to the instrument.

Fernando Ortega's conceptual works involve performative and nonperformative actions in which he recreates an event or situation that he has observed in the world or arranges a set of parameters and waits to see what will happen.

All of This and Nothing is a current exhibition at the Hammer Museum.

Till soon,
Steven

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

[Staglevision] tradition and superstition

Dear friends and readers,

Last week, Nico and I attended Maxine Hong Kingston's reading at the Hammer. It was an event I'd been looking forward to for a long time, since from her picture, Maxine looked so adorable: a little old Chinese lady with long white hair and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
Here are some things she told us:

"A writer takes on the responsibility of making culture."

Throughout her work, especially in The Woman Warrior, Maxine combated stereotypes of Chinese people on TV and in the movies. She described Chinese culture as a culture in which writing is sacred. It's a culture where you can send letters to your dead by burning them as offerings. Where every scrap of writing used to be collected and incinerated separately from the trash, the ashes scattered in the ocean. There's a Chinese saying, she said, that you can squeeze poetry out of people.

I've never thought about my writing as a cultural inheritance, so I was proud to discover this ancestral appreciation of writing, as if reverence for the written word was coded into my DNA.

"I have a superstition that as long as I--as any writer--have things to write, I keep living."

Maxine is a dragon in the Chinese zodiac. In Chinese culture, the dragon is a water dragon like the mist that hangs over the mountains. She said her writing came out of that mist, a description of inspiration as poetic as I've ever heard.

She told us she often succumbed to magical thinking. She'd see an ancient Chinese whistling arrow in a museum and wonder whether she saw it in the past and subconsciously incorporated it into her fiction, or whether the arrow itself existed because she'd imagined it in her fiction.

Don't all writers think like that? The world you imagine and the world you perceive can't be too different. I often take cues from my writing. People have walked into my life after I've written them into stories. People who look like my characters, who share their names. I'm drawn to people who remind me of the characters I've created. And the characters I create often reflect those close to me.

"A writer's life is so terrible. Everyone's having a party, but you can't go because you have to sit at home and write."
Pretty self-explanatory!

***
MY NEW BOOKSHELF

For Christmas, Ellen gifted me a gorgeous black wood bookshelf from Ikea. The bookshelf stands 8 feet tall. It could kill you if it fell on you. It looms over the TV and hungers for books.

I brought books from home to fill it. Now I have a periodical section, a poetry section, a modern first edition section, and a critical theory section.
I moved my old bookshelf (black bookshelf minor) into the dining nook for additional periodicals, library books, cooking and LA reference. What goes better with tea and cookies than a back issue of One Story or LA Magazine?

Till soon,
Steven

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Friday, December 3, 2010

Morning Research: Jumbo Tex 60

Super Jumbo Tex 60 Minute is the industry's leading 60 Minute
weather-resistive building paper, with an unmatched track record of
performance in the field. It is a member of the Jumbo Tex product line
that has been chosen by builders and architects to protect over five
million homes and commercial buildings from the problems caused by water
intrusion and excessive moisture.

http://www.fortifiber.com/super_jumbo_tex.html#

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Afternoon Research: Is My Kid Smoking Pot? (.com)

The essential site for concerned parents--

Introduction: Is my kid smoking pot?
Chances are, if you've found this website, you're already asking yourself, Is my kid smoking pot? Rummaging through their personal belongings without anything more than parent's intuition will immediately alienate you from your teenager. With a better understanding of the signs, paraphernalia, and activities of a typical pot-smoker, it may be easier to relate to your teenager about their use of marijuana and approach him or her for a discussion. Our website incorporates the experiences of former teenage marijuana users in an attempt to provide parents with enough current information to be credible. This website is dedicated to providing a realistic, up-to-date look at the signs, symptoms, and possible proof that may answer the question once and for all, is my kid smoking pot?

http://www.ismykidsmokingpot.com/

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Friday, November 12, 2010

Morning Research: Tar

In Finland wood tar was once considered a panacea reputed to heal "even those cut in twain through their midriff". A Finnish proverb states that if sauna, vodka and tar won't help, the disease is fatal.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

[Staglevision] on the land: the lambda literary writers' retreat

Dear friends and readers,

Like other fellows, I've had difficulty verbalizing how much the Lambda Literary Writers' Retreat for Emerging LGBT Voices meant to me and to my writing.



I should start with a confession: before the retreat, I had my reservations about "Gay Writers' Camp." I've never really felt comfortable in mainstream gay culture. I don't parade my sexuality; I avoid West Hollywood clubs. I worried that the retreat would sacrifice craft for community, that celebrating queer identity would take precedence over the work itself. And I worried about putting myself out there. Would I be comfortable in an environment where my sexuality was such a salient issue? Would I fit in with the other queer writers? I'm a shapeshifter. Passing is my default, my defense.

Well, I quickly discovered that I didn't need to pass. Not here. As we went around the room sharing why we were here, so many of the writers' responses resonated with what I felt. They were here to reenergize their writing, to gift themselves time and space to write. They were looking for community to make the writing hours bearable and readers who wouldn't ask, "Now, by 'topping,' do you mean ice cream?" They wanted writing to be less painful. They wanted reassurance that they were "serious writers."

They knew me. They were like me. I felt so relieved and so grateful. For the first time, we were the majority. We queer writers defined the norm.



We were a diverse group. People of all ages, races, and genders united by a burning desire to write, to have our voices heard. We were DJs and academics, astrologists and former strippers. We were late bloomers. We had cool tattoos. We were fierce and spunky and hilarious and smart. The other fellows nudged me out of my shell. They asked me questions about my novel, teased me for lugging my tea stein to every class. Not only were the 32 other fellows extraordinarily talented, but they also amazed me with their sensitivity and understanding. For once, I could just be myself. And for someone who never felt quite at home in the queer community, this felt so supportive and safe. It was home.

That week in the hills of Bel Air was as thrilling and expansive as the first quarter of college. High above the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles, I felt completely, refreshingly disconnected from my day-to-day concerns. Despite our packed schedule, the atmosphere was relaxed, everyone wagging their tails. We bonded in the dining hall over Raymond Carver and cold cuts, worked and laughed on the couches in the "Stud" Center. Friendships came easy: writing was our common language, authors our shared heroes and forebears. After readings, we drank beer (or tea) with our instructors and watched traffic twinkle up the 405. We danced in our dorm rooms. We giggled outside until 4 a.m. We shared anxieties about our work, composed impromptu poems in the computer cluster. Our conversations inevitably returned to writing. (And we took lots of photos!)



Our fiction workshop was rigorous. From 9 a.m. to noon, we sat in a windowless room around five tables that we dragged into a pentagon. Our instructor, Nicola Griffith, tailored the workshop to best serve our needs. Sacrifice craft for community? Not on her watch. On day one, she gave us a crash course in narrative grammar, point of view, dialogue, and story arcs. On day two, we began workshopping our writing samples. It wasn't always pretty; one by one, our samples were broken down so they could be built back up. Stopwatch in hand, Nicola kept us humble and succinct.

On the final day of class, she rallied us with these words:

You are the chosen few. The next generation of LGBT writers. The new queer fiction tradition starts right here, right now when you leave this room. You dozen are the Knights of the Pointy Table. You will lead the charge. Where will you take your people?

Being queer and being a writer are two identities that aren't easily disentangled. The retreat celebrated both. We wrote about our lives; we wrote to save lives. I left the retreat with a greater affinity to my community, and also a greater sense of responsibility.



As you all know, I've been working on my novel since graduating from Stanford. Four years now. And there are times when it's been murder. Times when I've sat in my room, unable to string words into a sentence, wondering, "How many more years?"

Not only did the Lambda retreat renew and empower me, but it reignited my passion for the novel. Nicola and the other fellows helped me remember what I loved about my book. What the novel could be, its possibility and promise. "Your characters haunted me," they said. They called my first chapter "evocative," "poetic," and "gutsy as hell." After I read Simon's transformation scene on Friday night, their excitement fueled me with a sense of urgency. This was a story that needed to be told, and only I could tell it. I left with a mission: Continue writing. Lead the charge.

Thank you to the Lambda Literary Foundation for this life-changing opportunity, and to the instructors and my fellow writers for giving me the tools, affirmation, and support I needed to keep going.

Love,
Steven



--
Video - Steven Tagle reads an excerpt from Encantado

Photos - 2010 Lambda Literary Writers' Retreat

Fiction instructor Nicola Griffith's recap

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Distinguished Aztec Academic Recognition Speech at Esperanza High School, 5-17-10

DAAR SPEECH

Thank you, Dr. Fox. When the PTSA invited me to speak to you last month, I had just turned 25, so your invitation officially ushered in my quarter-life crisis. For the first time in years, I dreamt about taking my AP exams again. I felt like I was returning for a pop quiz on my life. What have I done in the seven years since graduation? Of all the distinguished alumni, all the successful doctors, lawyers, and businessmen, why ask an aspiring filmmaker--a self-proclaimed "starving artist"--to address Esperanza's best and brightest?



It hasn't been long since I was in your shoes. Seven years ago, I sat in those same seats, fidgeting with my tie and crossing items off a checklist in my head. The night was young, and I still had much to do: Spanish vocab to memorize, prom plans to confirm, thespian initiation week, and an impending two-day calculus final. Not to mention those permanently uncheckable items: praying I kept my grades up so Stanford would still take me in the fall. The weight of parental expectation. And the huge question of the future. College. What came next.

I know the road to this point wasn't easy. Like you, I sacrificed a great deal to make the grades, to sit in that seat. Eight classes a day on alternating sides of the bridge, NHS and CSF meetings, Creative Impulse deadlines, drama rehearsals, then a pile of homework and six hours of sleep or less before I woke up to do it all over again. On weekends, I wrote college essays and studied for the SAT. I traveled to debate tournaments. And dealt with my share of high school drama: fall outs with friends, parental spats, the zit-inducing terror of dating.

What would I have told my 18-year-old self? As a student sitting in your seat, what would I have wanted to hear? Though I haven't lived long enough to give you life's big picture, I can offer you a glimpse into the years ahead and share some of the insights I've gathered along the way.

One question I'm often asked--a question I ask myself from time to time--is "Was it worth it?" Was college worth four years of stressful all-nighters? Was it worth a high school experience more Glee than Gossip Girl? If I found myself back in ninth grade, would I choose the same path?

I still remember my first trip down Palm Drive, the main entrance to Stanford's campus. It's a dense, mile-long road lined by towering palm trees that completely obscure campus. Until you reach the Oval. Then the road opens to reveal a stunning vista of red-roofed, sandstone buildings and the golden face of Memorial Church, set against a backdrop of sprawling foothills. It kicked the breath out of me. Stanford.

I'd spent my high school career traveling down this road, slogging through research papers and DBQs, hoping my hard work would pay off. And in the end, those sacrifices led me to an intellectual paradise I'd call home for the next four years. Four years that spread like Stanford's campus before me, to be made into whatever I wanted. Was it worth it? You bet it was worth it. The novels you read, the supply and demand curves you drew, the Immex modules and Wordly Wise assignments you completed were worth it. The time you spent curled up with your graphing calculator was worth it.

Let me give you an idea of the mind-blowing college experience that awaits you. Freshman year, you take a seminar with David Kennedy, author of your AP US History textbook. In Psych One, you discover that half the psychologists you've been studying have offices in the building. Your English department attracts writers like J.M. Coetzee, Joyce Carol Oates, and Annie Proulx. Graduates from your school have founded Google, Yahoo!, and Hewlett-Packard. Opportunity is as abundant as the palm trees. Genius wears flip-flops and a t-shirt. And instead of taking mandatory, Honors track classes, you're free to pursue your intellectual passions, whether it be collaborating on a 250-page graphic novel or designing the next killer iPhone app.



Freshman year, I lived with a ballet dancer from New York, a mathematician from Michigan, and a medic from Hong Kong. My friend Jack was a history major from El Paso, and if you gave him any number from 1 to 44, he could tell you the US president.

Swapping late-night stories in the dorm hallway, I realized just how sheltered my life had been. You've proven yourselves to be the top students here at Esperanza, but the world is much bigger than Yorba Linda, than this school. Let your classmates' perspectives challenge and enrich you. What you learn from them will be just as valuable as what you learn in class.

Like my friends, I too became distinguishable by my passions. Instead of being known as the smartest kid in class, I was known as a writer and filmmaker. My dormmates became my enthusiastic acting troupe. They crewed my film shoots, read parts in my staged readings, and even performed an interpretive dance I wrote to celebrate the end of daylight savings.

These early dorm projects soon led to more professional productions. As a junior, I wrote and directed MODEL MAN, a film about a female Pygmalion who constructs a wind-up robot. Stanford grant money allowed me to hire Bay Area actors and rent professional video equipment to boost the film's production value. Now let me tell you a little secret: I'd never produced a film on that scale before. Applying for grants, securing locations permits, and planning a three-day film shoot were all new to me. I learned how to make a film by making that film.

Stanford provided me with countless other opportunities for which I was not strictly qualified. The summer after my freshman year, I worked at the California First Amendment Coalition, a nonprofit organization promoting free speech and open government. As a sophomore, I taught fellow undergrads in Psych One discussion sections. I studied abroad at Oxford, where my English tutor required me to write a 10-page research paper on a new novel every week. And for my senior honors thesis, I completed three drafts of ENCANTADO, my first novel.

These experiences taught me that you should do everything before you're ready. Don't let self-doubt or fear of failure prevent you from taking opportunities that may seem out of reach. In many cases, the most important qualification is a willingness to learn. It's what my boss calls "being a stem cell": position yourself beyond your abilities, then grow into the role. Even if you don't succeed, you'll learn how to do it better the next time around. I'm all about efficiency, and a steep learning curve is the most productive way to learn. It means you'll gain a ton of experience in no time at all.



When I graduated from Stanford, a mentor suggested I submit a documentary to Current TV, an award-winning cable news channel and website. In the fall of 2007, Current was looking for human stories that addressed important election issues. Though I'd never made a documentary before, I submitted a piece, and the next thing I know, Current was flying me out to New Hampshire to cover the presidential primary. I found myself at Nashua town halls and Manchester meet and greets, chasing presidential hopefuls across snow-covered highways. My job was to keep candidates talking about the issues: US power, consumption, the economy, and the role of government.

In that whirlwind week, I learned to appreciate the power of documentary journalism: how my coverage allowed viewers to access the primary through the eyes of someone their age, and how documentary filmmaking in particular bridged the divide between personal and political, illustrating the very real impact of government policies in people's lives.

My experience at the primary also drew on many of the interests and skills I began developing in high school. It was a chance to see, in action, the electoral process I read about in Mr. Matthews' government class. It was an opportunity to employ journalistic skills I honed while editing the newspaper with Ms. Cummings. Four years of debate and drama enabled me to speak eloquently in front of the camera. US history with Mrs. Amann gave me an awareness of the historical moment.

Which is all to say that education is never passive. It's never sitting at a desk with a book pressed to your head. It's more like a dinner party, absorbing other's ideas so you have enough context to add your own voice to the mix. Hunger for new knowledge will keep you relevant. Openness to new perspectives will keep you young. Congratulations on all you've done and all you've yet to do. I look forward to hearing great things from you, my fellow overachievers. Thank you.





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Thursday, March 18, 2010

My reading is tonight!

Dear friends and readers,

The excerpt's been chosen, the restaurant reserved, and everything is ready for tonight. I can't wait to see all you guys for my first official reading since moving down to LA.

A few last minute notes:
--We'll be out on the patio, so bring a sweater.
--I'm reading last, so if you think you might be a little late, that's ok. Still come!

Reading Special:
Preorder Spork 9.1 and receive ENCANTADO, Chapter 1 at http://steventagle.com/store






After the reading, join me across the street for appetizers (sweet potato fritters, calamari, cheese and charcuterie) and drinks (Sprite or stronger!) at the charming Allston Yacht Club.

Homo-Centric Reading Series @ Stories Books and Cafe
Thursday, March 18 at 7:30pm
Stories Books and Cafe
1716 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
213-413-3733
http://storiesla.com

Afterparty @ Allston Yacht Club
Thursday, March 18 at 9:30pm
Allston Yacht Club
1320 Echo Park Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
213-481-0454
http://allstonyachtclub.com

Thank you everyone for your support. I can't wait for tonight!

Best,
Steven


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Monday, November 23, 2009

LeechBlock and Gimpix

Two great finds this morning while writing:



First, LeechBlock, a Firefox add-on designed to block those time-wasting sites that can suck the life out of your working day. All you need to do is specify which sites to block and when to block them.

This add-on has a ton of customizable features, allowing you to block groups of sites during specific days and time periods. You can even limit access to application's preferences to keep yourself honest during an unauthorized Facebook craving.

Thank you, James Anderson, for this gift to writers. Goodbye Facebook, hello productivity!



Second, my research on long leg casts led me to this peculiar, possibly NSFW site. Gimpix is a site dedicated to "exploring the sexuality of an attractive woman in a plaster of Paris leg cast."

The author of Gimpix explains his site in a 9-point "Rationale" section. Some highlights:

"My pulse quickens and I receive a powerful stimulation whenever I see a pretty woman with her leg in a plaster cast, either hobbling on crutches or staggering along in a walking cast!"

"Of the many orthopedic devices that exist, only plaster leg casts have such charisma."

"Watching a woman wiggling her toes is very seductive whether they are in a cast or not. But seeing them sticking out of plaster intensifies the allure."

"Also sometimes pleasurable for women is the warm feeling provided by the exothermic chemical reaction of the setting plaster, although one must be cautious to avoid high water temperatures, and consequently risk of burning."

Thank you, the Internet! My gift to you this Monday morning.


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